Romance Meets Reality 2: Dealing with Distance

 

Hello everyone! It has been a while, and it seems like the forced hiatus had been longer than expected. 🙂 I was caught in the middle of a mountain of workload; at the kindergarten, graduate school and everything in between. (winks)

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I may had been on a little break from the blogging world, but that doesn’t mean I ran out of the things to write about. 🙂 In fact, I had been asked a bunch of questions, both personally and through private messages. A lot of my friends asked me questions like, “how do you deal with being apart from Chris?” I guess this is something I would love to write about as a comeback post. 🙂

So, how do we deal with being apart?

When we started our relationship over a year ago, we kinda know what challenges come with it, and distance being one of the major issues. Of course, personally, I was afraid and nervous but I know it is worth the risk. The time away from each other can be daunting and are likely to get tough at times, but taking it from a different perspective meant it would be something that would positively impact our relationship.

First, it makes us appreciate “US”. They said you will not truly appreciate a thing until it is out of reach. Yep, for us, being physically out of reach which is temporary. It makes the shared laughter and the holding hands even more meaningful. Gives more weight to the simple actions like rushing to the kitchen and bringing a glass of water coz one of you just had hiccup or was choked by his/her saliva :D. It makes sense of the simplest things we may take for granted.Yep, missing the one you love can be quite a healthy exercise. It makes you look at being together again at a totally different heights.

Second, it helps us grow more independent while having each other’s back. How is that possible then, people may ask us. Being apart is not a perfectly bad state. Instead, it provides more leeway for lovers to get enough “me time” and pursue their individual goals. We wish to grow as individuals and members of our “little powerhouse team”. We can both accomplish our career goals and celebrate each other’s success. Yep, we see our individual strengths as a pillar for a stable relationship. Believe me, when you are truly in love with someone you can’t be with every single day, the days you get to spend together are the happiest you can have.

Third, we learned that being in a relationship is staying together by choice. Though you may be separated physically, it is the hearts that stay close, never leaving and despite the thousand miles in between, keep coming back for each other.  The distance helps water the love to grow even more stronger. Think about blushing after he/she said something from the other side of the world. Also, contemplate on the commitment you are making by creating a home in the heart of another person so far away when there are a lot of people offering the same near you.

Of course, there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Sprinkle this with distance and time zones, and you get to see how long distance relationships are not for the faint-hearted ones.

How about you? What are the challenges you had being apart?

Thanks for dropping by.  Keep the love alive ❤

How can Pinays and Foreigners Get Married in Hong Kong

Getting married in Hong Kong is perhaps one of the fastest way to get reunited with your loved one who happens to live in a country different from yours. Most likely, it goes with the fact that the process to get the paperwork accomplished is much easier than doing it here in the Philippines. For example, when a Filipina is marrying a German (my case), it would take at least 3 to 5 months to process all the papers for his legal capacity to contract marriage or Ehefähigkeitszeugnis. Your German fiance will also have to visit the German Embassy in Manila to pick up the the certificate of legal capacity to marry. This would need another 2 to 3 days. After he has secured his Ehefähigkeitszeugnis, it is time to start your application at the locality where you are based. If you wanted to have a grand wedding or even a simple one with your immediate family around, be mindful that this would take so much time. This is why, for a Filipina and a foreigner, getting married in Hong Kong is the fastest route to take.

Getting married in Hong Kong was something we never thought of for some time. Chris and I had been thinking about the next step in our relationship, and it means, we wanted to take a leap towards being together, proximity wise and of course, legally. With him being German and I, a Pinay, many would expect we will tie the knot either in DE (or NL where he is based)  or in the Philippines. This is something we also consider but, behind the ideas of doing this where we should, the trail for the paperwork needed from us (from my side with 90%  of this burden), is quite overwhelming. I have a full time job that requires I oversee every single detail that is to be done and this makes this really challenging.  Added to this is the complicated schemes involved in marrying a foreigner in the Philippines. So we thought of many possible options, getting married in Hong Kong being one.

But why get married in Hong Kong, you may ask… 

1. We are convinced the process is quick and that it does not involve the stress of having to deal with many government office-hopping and the fees it incurs trying to get the marriage license (which will, of course, demand tons of paperwork beforehand, plus under the table stuff to accomplish so  quickly). “More fun in the Philippines!” as he would always say. 😀
2. Hong Kong is a member of the Apostille Convention.  That means that there is no need to go through the lengthy process of having your marriage certificate “red-ribboned” or notarized to be considered genuine in many countries. Other than the 2-3 month wait for your marriage records to be available at the National Statistics Authority (formerly NSO), you must have it red-ribboned by the DFA. That consumes time again. In Hong Kong, you can get your marriage certificate right after the ceremony, have it sealed by an apostille service, and after 2 days, it is good to go. (that is how our research have gone so far). An Apostille is issued by a designated authority in a country where the Hague Convention Abolishing the Requirement for Legalization of Foreign Public Documents is practiced.
3. It is an all-in trip for us (wedding, honeymoon, and travel to a neutral ground). 🙂
4. The communication with the government authorities in Hong Kong is much more smoother than in the Philippines.

If you and your better half want to make the process swift so you can be together faster, skipping the red tape and countless processes in PH, then the option getting married in Hong Kong is for you.

So since Chris and I are considering this option, we decided to give the process a try.

How to get started? 

The first step is the email to enquiry@immd.gov.hk

Here is an example of what we did:

What is amazing about transactions related to getting married in Hong Kong is the prompt and complete replies to your queries. I sent an email March 25th and received a reply 3 days later, all with complete information and instructions. (Other than what to write exactly on the “Surname, Name” box of the Page 1 of the form. I will talk about this more on my next entry, as I am trying to figure out what to do exactly. Now, I am waiting for the email in response to my query).

Though there are available forms you can download from links you find on blogs online, I suggest you send an email of inquiry. The forms you download may be outdated. I have confirmed this as Hong Kong sent me an updated one. The reply from the HK Government is quite lengthy, but be sure to read them thoroughly as it contains useful, specific information essential to completing the process.

After you have read the instructions, it is time to prepare for the paperwork.

What do you need to get your wedding schedule? 

The following should be enclosed in an envelop:

1. Photocopies of your and your bf/gf’s birth certificate (International Birth Certificate if the same document isn’t in English)
2. Photocopy of your passports
3. Photocopy of CENOMAR (Certificate of No Marriage) for the Pinay partner
4. Notarized Page 1 of the Notice of Intended Marriage
5. Pages 2 and 3 of the Forms sent by the HK government (if both of you were never married)
6. Bank draft worth HK$305 as the fee for giving and exhibiting the notice. (I will talk about this in another blog entry soon)

The complete set of requirements should be sent to

The Marriage Registration and Records Office
3/F, Low Block Queensway Government Offices
66 Queensway, Hong Kong

I sent our application through express mail, and paid  ₱ 917.00 with maximum 7 days for the door to door delivery. You see, it was delivered on time. 🙂

I received a reply from this email address: mrro@immd.gov.hk about the update of our request. However, we were told that we need to send a new notarized copy of the Page 1 as I actually MUST put my middle name on the form (which is confusing for me as it just clearly asked for the name / given name only).  I felt like.. ‘Ah! Why didn’t it say so clearly”, but I had to comply anyway. 🙂  I sent a reply to HK regarding the middle name and hope to get a clear explanation why. 😀

It is only after all requirements are met that Hong Kong will send to you the possible wedding date. 🙂

Are you also planning to get married in Hong Kong? Drop me a line for some queries. I would be happy to help you out.

For the complete information, may it with papers, hotel, budget, itinerary, route guides in Hong Kong, etc.. please browse the posts on this link.

Thanks for dropping by! 🙂

My German’s Weekend in the Farm

The Philippines had always been just a “very hot country” to Chris before he flew in to meet me. Have I told you about his old neighbor’s Pinay wife who justified her whole wardrobe of micro minis and plunging necklines as a result of this tropical curse? (Ah, no, she was then living with her German husband in the Netherlands, to give you a hint. 😉 ) Going back, it is mostly about the weather, the people’s height and the delicious mangoes that he had in mind.

Then he came, and after some days realized that maybe this is one of the noisiest countries he had ever been to. Just hanging out on our little terrace, he would hear people pump up the volume of their karaoke machines. If not, he could hear the public disco from the distance (especially during December when many would show no mercy for eardrums.)

Then we decided to go out of town to get a little “solace”. We drove to the nearby town  where one of my brothers has a house. After an hour bus ride which somehow earned him much stares than we did when we are strolling in the mall or down
town, we have arrived in a town where we had to ride a tricycle he would describe as something that requires squats. 🙂 (And he is not even the tallest 😀 ). So, off we go in the middle of the sugarcane plantation. A quiet place, perhaps? 😀

We were treated with a good meal and some fruits. Because I wanted him to try something new, I requested for some specific stuff. So, he had to taste fresh coconut juice and meat, rambutan (related to lychee but covered with spines) and banaba (sour sop). My Deutsch don’t really have the thing for the sour ones, though. He said he loves lanzones and bananas, and that coconut meat tastes good for him. 🙂

It was quite a hot day, so we decided to have a quick trip in the town center and bought ice cold coke and ice cream, and of course beer. 🙂 I bet you know how Germans are with beer, right? We took a nap (something which he said he had learned from me! Hahaha) and woke up just as the sun is setting. We strolled around the sugarcane plantation and found ourselves near the rice mill when we heard some birds chirping in the midst of the canes, perhaps looking for a place to spend the night.

I saw my sister-in-law look towards that direction, perhaps wanting to say something. 😀 I broke the silence by telling him about how many people would say this is actually the sound of the “aswang” (the most feared mythical creature here). My sis-in-law nodded and this triggered his endless laugh (he would always tease her about this thing).

Over supper, he had been asking endless questions about aswangs

Over supper, he had been asking endless questions about aswangs and  would scare me and my sister-in-law. Then we heard a gecko. Of course, he was curious and was quite excited to see how this looks up close.  My brother’s house here was surrounded by fruit trees and some bananas, so it is most likely to have been dwelling here.  His excitement was cut short when we realized it seemed like the gecko was now inside the house and maybe in the room where we would sleep for the night. It was my turn to laugh (though I was scared too). We still laugh at the thought of him securing the edges of our mosquito net as not to give the gecko the chance to get closer just in case it falls from the ceiling. 😀 Yep, he said it feels weird to use mosquito net but it is better than getting kissed by the gecko. 😀

I felt him toss and turn many times all throughout the night. When I asked if it is about the gecko, he said, not really… this time it is because of the crickets. Haha. He said it is like  midnight karaoke.  We were awaken by the rooster’s crow at 5 in the morning, and again, my sleepy Deutsch was in the mood for kidding. He said he will hunt the chickens down for waking him up, and for being an aswang’s representative.

It was 7 AM when we woke up and despite his painful body, we went to the backyard to see some plants. He couldn’t help but inspect the papayas closely as he said it gave him an idea how old long have they stayed in the container vans before reaching the EU supermarkets.  I showed him the calamansi (he loves to drink its juice, especially if it is lukewarm). Of course the guava, which I jokingly reiterated to be the cause of long toilet stays. Haha.

It was a day for strolling around the village. Our first target is to find the bamboos. Chris is fascinated by the bamboo crafts and was determined to see it for himself. In Europe, he has seen some people selling small bamboo stuff through ebay. We headed to the small spring where we could see the bamboos. And so…. tadaaaaaaaa! We decided to post for some photos , but anyway, mein Deutsch is quite camera shy, so okay.. you know what that means, right? 😉

Along the way, we passed by a small wooden house that’s mainly made of bamboo. He suggested we stop for a while to take some snaps. He finds this house to be very cute! His eyes were full of wonder while he tells me about how he finds the Filipino ingenuity amazing. It is impressive how people put things like this together! There seems to be nobody, so we didn’t find anyone  he can chat with about this house. 🙂

As we went on, a thought pop-up. So, he asked me where can people here possibly defecate. (We all know how the local “tabo toilets” had gain notoriety among our foreign better-halfs. He had asked me about this many times and though we kind of laughed about it, he was quite scared. Haha.) I looked around and saw a small hut just across the wooden house. I grinned while I was pointing to him this small “box-like” wooden structure. He asked what was this white container for, which of course, I retorted with, “that’s the dipper!” “Ah, the improvised tabo,” he said while grinning.  😉

And so we kept moving, until we’ve reached the spring. There was not too much water since it was hot. With that, of course, his face was really red and both of us didn’t want to get out of the shade. He took the opportunity to feel the water flowing on his hand and wash his face. The water is cold, so it somehow relieved the blushing. 😀

We head back under the scourging heat of the sun. Again,we passed by some interesting sights, like this one:

A perfect depiction of village life, isn’t it? We both love the contrast of nature’s colors. When we arrived, we took some snaps of my brother’s wooden store by their gate’s entrance, and the chicken house in the backyard. This was one of the few times Chris asked to be photographed! haha. So, here it goes~~

We head back to the city later that day to catch a dinner appointment (something which I will be writing about the next time… 😀 ) When I asked him how was it like living in the farm. He said, the roosters and the crickets are the karaoke versions of the village. 😀

Thanks for dropping by! ❤

Deutsch in the City (of Love)

Whoa! I can’t believe this! 

I remember clearly how he uttered this line countless times as his eyes widened in either disbelief, surprise, or amusement. This would then be followed by a squeeze on my hand and a smile (something which I miss so much).

More than just the culture shock, C and I had a great time experiencing the many firsts for him in the Philippines. More often though, it is not the major things that make us burst in laughter. Rather, it was the random small, overlooked things in this part of the world that spark our conversations.

Jeepneys

A major means of transportation in the Philippines, we take pride in having the best designed jeepneys in the country. Chris couldn’t help but smile how a locally assembled car could have the hood and the engine compartment looking like that of foreign cars. Yep, including the logo. 🙂 We ended up touring the city by communing on these colorful, lowered jeepneys. For him, it was fun to see how the parts of this car, particularly by the driver’s seat. Added to this is the fact that most of them are small and one should try to shrink one’s self when it is full of passengers.

The hanging electric wires that tangle

The tangled electric wires are an everyday sight, right? Well, perhaps in this part of the world, yes. C was so amused to see how these wires would hang by the old wooden posts along any streets we walked on. He took a photo of this while we were commuting for the purpose of shocking a good friend who happens to be an electrician. It was even funnier for him how people would just ignore the risk as the wires swing as the wind blows. When I told him about the exploding transformers at times, he was left silent for a while before bursting in laughter while saying, “More fun in the Philippines!”

Old, unrestored structures

From afar these structures are perfect backdrops, but as one gets closer, the misfortunes they face are apparent. This hit C personally. Being an experienced restorator in Amsterdam, he couldn’t help but feel sad about how these places are left unnoticed, much less, neglected. While church-hopping as part of our sightseeing, he would examine closely how much work is needed to keep the centuries old buildings like this belfry of Jaro Cathedral, and the church and old convent of San Jose Parish, intact for the next generations to see. As we left every place, he would shake his head in disbelief. Guess someone’s interested in doing volunteer jobs for the churches at the end of the day, too.

The church ceremony

There was a baptismal rite when we arrived in Jaro Cathedral, and of course, C was quite curious how this are done here. There was not much comment on his part except for some observations like, the number of people who are present in such an occasion. He said that in Europe, for as much as his experience, there will only be a few in attendance for this event and that only family members and close friends will be the persons expected to be invited. Anyhow, we both agreed to raise our kids as Catholics until they are old enough to choose whichever they like. That Sunday, we attended the mass and he was pleased to see how many people were there. The rites were quite different than that in Europe, though, he said.

The spoon-fork partnership

On the first dinner we had straight from the airport, C couldn’t believe almost everything is eaten with only the spoon and the fork handy (unless of course you ask for a knife).This is very common in most restaurants, much more in the homes. He was smiling from ear to ear while telling me I am an expert in using this combination.This is because I was able to eat shrimp from a sinigang with this combination alone! On my part, I can’t stop laughing how he would prefer to eat rice with a fork! 🙂

Soup in the morning

Another thing that amused him other than the spoon and fork is our fondness for soup in the morning. I know he loves bam-i (in fact, he can cook it too!) and I was thinking he would love the popular noodle soup called Lapaz Batchoy. He just kept looking at how quickly I devoured the contents of the bowl when we was not even halfway with his. Then came the question about the ingredients.  Upon mentioning “liver”, his deep-seated eyes widened as he simultaneously say, that’s why it tasted strange… I don’t eat liver. 🙂 So, no more batchoy encounter for him again.

Cold beer and a glass of ice

Who wouldn’t associate beer with the Gemans? 🙂 Yeah… Octoberfest in mind, right? Being a Deutsch he is, of course, beer can’t be forgotten. When we ordered his first beer, he was quite excited as he had already heard about San Miguel Beer. He was eager to taste it himself. When the waiter returned with a beer, we was more curious why he was also given a glass full of ice. He whispered to me what is the glass for and couldn’t contain the laughter when I said that is where he is supposed to pour the beer for drinking. 🙂 It took some convincing  for him to try it. So, for the first beer in the Philippines, I had to grab the beer and wipe the mouth of the bottle with a paper napkin. Yep, he was giving me a strange look for this too, until I showed him the particles on the paper napkin. 😉 Now, he could drink beer the Filipino way! 😉

Balut

“Your stay in the Philippines won’t be complete without trying balut.” Sounds familiar, right? Personally, I am not a fan of balut, so C and I had discussed about the not eating it countless times, which of course, as you have predicted, wasn’t materialized. Haha. C was left at home with the family as I had to attend a school reunion for the night. Everything else was good for him, until I arrived with a balut in hand. There was a vendor on the road as we drove home,  so I thought, why not? He was scared to see how the steamed embryo looked like as he stared with disgust. Haha. Of course, men don’t exactly run away from challenges, right? He told me to try it too, so I took one and sip the liquid content and ate a portion of the yolk. The next thing I know, he was done too! Kudos! He said, it was not as bad as it looked like! Now, he scares his friends with this. 😀

Cooking in the dirty kitchen

Most of the time, C and I would eat in a restaurant or take out some food to eat with the family. However, he said, the serving sizes in the Philippines are too small, in fact, he finds it too “cute” for such a big guy as he is. Other than missing his typical breakfast, he also wanted to try cooking in a wok on a charcoal stove. He was surprised how unpredictable the amount of heat could be for his kind of cooking, but he proceeded anyway, cooking a big omelet with cheese. The result? It was not what he expected it to  be but we ate everything, anyway.:) And yeah, a man in the kitchen is sexy. 🙂

There are some other things that shocked him, too. These include the lizard that walk freely on the walls, the big house spider that hangs by the corner, and of course, the toilet with the tabo (dipper).  All these three had solicited outright expression of shock from his friends back home, too. 🙂 Nevertheless, it has been an exciting set of discoveries and experiences not only for mein Deutsch but also for us as a couple. 🙂

Have you let your guy immerse in the local Pinoy way of living? If so, how was the experience?

LDR: How Photos Fill the Distance and Warm Our Hearts

I keep myself busy with things to do… But every time I pause, I think of you. 

It is no doubt every relationship is subject to challenges.No matter how smooth the combination goes, couples are bound to face the tests of love. Now put distance in the midst of this reality. That doubles the challenge, right?

When you have some misunderstandings, you better be expressing your thoughts face to face, right? Or, when you  have your daily victories… you wish for a long, warm hug than just the emoticons that say “hug me”, don’t you?

Just like many other couples,  Chris and I are both busy with our careers. Perhaps, we can only then share the same experience with some, being on the different sides of the planet. Luckily, this distance has never put a toll on us, though. (Thanks, maturity and career!)

What should you do when Google Hangouts or Facebook just aren’t enough? We try to inject fun into it by letting each other into our everyday life. 🙂 More than just the hours of voice and video chats, we share tons of photos!

Yep. Photos have the unique way of making teleports possible. 🙂 And, we are so lucky technology makes it possible. When we say everyday thing, we mean, every littlest of events.

With these exchanges, we get to share insights on how we and our cultures are similar or different from each other. A picture doesn’t just paint a thousand words, it ignites hundreds of ideas. That bridges the 11,ooo kilometers between us.

Often, we found ourselves talking about food, introducing to each other some terms and naming ingredients. We would laugh about how many words mean the same in the languages we speak. The topic about food would end up with a competition of who gets to clean the plate faster. 🙂 Of course, I always lose. Haha.

Sharing videos and watching it together was also a thing for us. We love watching short documentaries about the Philippines, the Netherlands and Germany. This sparks some discussions and provides avenues for us to talk about our common interest in culture and people. When one of us feels quite sad, we would watch funny clips and start laughing our hearts out.

Some days ago, Chris sent me a link to a video showing how beauty is defined in different cultures. He agreed how Pinays would go for the long, straight hair. Of course, this means he pointed out on my appointment with the hairdresser some weeks ago. 🙂 We ended up talking about skin color with him saying there is no such thing as dying over whitening lotion in Europe and that if I should wish for a fairer skin, he has buckets of white paint instead. 🙂

Daily updates about work are part of the routine. I always believe that when your partner understands the nature of your work, it is easier for them to imagine how your days are like, and accept the fact that the same work can eat so much of your time, too. I am happy he believes in the same, so we ended up looking at what happened to each other in a specific period of time. Time zones always get in between but we keep the fire burning, anyway.

Perhaps, time zones sucks. You know, when I sleep, he gets home from work. On the same light, he is sleeping by the time I prep for work.  It can be quite outdated compared to the videochats, but photos would always fill the gaps when our schedules don’t seem to jive.

It works for us. How about you? Has LDR ever made you appreciate even the simplest of snaps?