The moment he said he will fly to meet you, you know this is getting serious (almost always). Perhaps after countless conversations with your Deutsch (German) guy online, you may want to take this connection into a whole new level. Though there is nothing wrong with dating someone online, you should meet personally. This is because personal encounters can make you assess the person quite well, and ensure what you have actually works.
Though one may actually see red flags even when just communicating online, nothing seems to be more reliable that hearing what the person says as you look each other on the eyes or sitting side by side. His gestures are as important as the words he say. Remember that it if doesn’t feel right, then it might as well not right to proceed any further. You just have to be honest about your feelings as he also invested his time, effort, and resources to see you.
To finally meet the guy is quite thrilling, right? Don’t get too excited, though. Before your German guy flies in, be sure to arm yourself with some information. It will save you from the stress and will give you both a much better opportunity to enjoy the time being together.
- If he wants to meet your family, then he must be really serious. This is quite a no-brainer. If he shows much interest in meeting your family and spending time with them, then he really wanted to know you deeply. Your family is an extension of yourself, and meeting them means getting an upfront idea of how were raised, the kind of parents and siblings you have, and your over-all personality around your family. Of course, when he would love to spend time alone with you but his eagerness to see who plays an important role in shaping who you are means he wants to understand you better, and this is a good sign for you.
- Expect that he will confirm your claims. Yep. It is important to be truthful from day one. My boyfriend and I have read so much about men writing how shocked they were to find out the Pinay had actually lied (or told half-truths) about her life. So, to save you from the embarrassment and possible broken heart, always tell the truth. If you say you work in an office, he expects that you bring him there as soon as his jetlag disappears. Make him see the things you do everyday. You might as well give him a little tour of the community you live in. He will appreciate your honesty no matter how crazy things can be for him. In short, you can always put your best foot forward, but always be honest.
- Your Filipina ways of indirectness can be misinterpreted as lack of interest. “Pakipot” (pretending not to be too eager) has no place in your guy’s world, so you better tell and show him you like him, or you don’t. We are raised in a way that when our words might actually hurt, we better not say them, right? This doesn’t work on this setting. Public display of affection is okay in the West, so you better prepare. Also, if the guy invited you to go sleep with him in his hotel room and you don’t like this idea, tell him honestly. He will surely be amused at how much boundary you set and might think you are not really interested in him, but he will understand your view on this. If he is a good guy, he will respect the way you choose to keep the connection wholesome. You need a lot of time to orient him of the Filipino ways on romance. If he blackmails you to get what he wanted, you better think twice of his intentions.
- Be prepared to be stared upon by a lot of people. If you are not the type who seeks attention, especially unsolicited ones, this will caused you some discomfort. Unless you are really taking public display of affection to the extreme, there is no need to worry. Many are generally curious and will stare at you, some out of admiration, some, out of the preconceived notions of us dating a white guy. (Here’s what I have written about this topic). To save yourself from the trouble, be modest enough and go to the right places. Since my boyfriend and I are career-oriented and look-conscious, we would always coordinate our look. This means we should not be over or under dressed compared to the other. Take extra effort in looking and acting pleasant to save yourself from the stereotypical stares.
- There are countless things that will shock him. He might be very excited for his first ride in a jeepney, tricycle or pedicab, but there are countless things that will shock him. Cold shower from a pail and dipper in the typical restroom at home will almost cause him to run. This will be followed by the absence of the toilet seat and the toilet paper when “doing our thing”. If he hasn’t read a lot about our country, then eating by hand, pointing to something using our lips, the long queues in the supermarket, and the men peeing by the walls can spark so many questions from him. This shock will extend to how our electric wires hang up our lamp posts, people calling him “Joe”, soup for breakfast, beer served with a glass full of ice, and our whitening lotions. Ah, and don’t forget the many different insects that thrive around here. The list goes on and on, really.
When my boyfriend came here for the first time, I was quite restless. Aside from the short notice of just two days, I was quite unprepared: no trip itinerary, no filed leave from work, and no experience in dating a German guy (Here’s how we started). Our honesty during our conversations is the one thing that helped us both a lot. Since there were no pretensions, there was nothing to cover too. We hope our little experience on our first meeting can save you and your German guy from the stress of being clueless about what and what not to expect.
Thanks for dropping by here. We wish you all the best too! ❤